Organ Donor

My favorite song from DJ Shadows would have to be Organ Donor. I wasn’t sure who made this song but I recently heard it in a hip hop dance class while we were warming up and it takes me back to my high school days too. Just from the short amount of time this song lasts, it makes me think of a couple of my friends and how they would break, starting off their routine, to songs just like Organ Donor, during our lunch period on the side of the cafeteria. This song is part of my youth and how I got into a bit of hip hop. I really wasn’t much of a hip hop head but I liked whatever I heard, whether I knew who the artist was or not. With each day the guys had their session, the songs they played grew on me. Songs like Organ Donor by DJ Shadows, are absolutely timeless. It just doesn’t seem to get anywhere close to being played out. Even watching the videos of their competitions, the video was compiled with songs back to the year is album was released, 1996, to older albums, dubbed over them. There are different elements in the song that doesn’t make it tiresome to hear often. The beats are constantly changing. It is also a memory of a transition in my life. It was expanding my horizons.  It’s crazy how this song is from an artist we are required to listen to for class. 

Learning from Mistakes and Changing Bad Habits

In the movie Groundhog Day, Rita does have a powerful influence over Phil and there is no doubt about it. Phil is a narcissist, for sure. He is constantly thinking that he is the best and a “talent” that is too good for certain places. Rita is the complete opposite. She is optimistic, going with the flow of things, and making the most of any day.

Phil was being very pessimistic and rude to every person that he was coming across. He was not willing to have any type of small chit chat with the people at the bed and breakfast, no sympathy for the poor man on the corner, or even catch up with someone that he has had history with. It is not known about how long Phil was stuck living Groundhog’s Day for but was trying ever way possible to end the repeating day, either by committing suicide or not caring for others throughout the course of the day. No matter which day it was in the repetitiveness for Phil, Rita was always upbeat and happy. She was the one to give him advice about what to do, which was to improve himself.

She brings out the best in him and was able to show him the light of better living. He was able to learn from mistakes he made on previous, repeated days to make better on the next. He discovered that there was no point in being sour ever repeated day when you can make the most of it. This was shown in the movie that he was able to know everyone in town and their stories, help the town's people, learn to play the piano, ice sculpt, and even speak French. In achieving this, he was able to get out of the repeats of Groundhog’s Day and move onto the next day.

I think the movie’s message about “true love” is that you can’t win anyone over with egotistical charm. A person with good qualities and an optimistic is going to like someone that is closer to who they are. Phil went from being a person with poor, pessimistic qualities living the same day, every single day, to a person that reached enlightenment, becoming a better person, and moving on with life. It showed in the movie, when it was the day after Groundhog’s Day and Rita was still with him.

One Size Does Not Fit All

Growing up in a Vietnamese family, I was never the one to really blend. I was never the typical, short or skinny, Asian. I have always been really tall, curvy, and even have big eyes. Most people that see me for the first time never believe that I am Vietnamese. Since I work in retail, I hear often enough, “What are you?” The most recent was a Filipino couple asking me. The husband thought I was Filipina and the wife thought I was Samoan. And just this past summer, there was a family gathering, for an unfortunate event, my uncles and aunts saw me and were not able to recognize me. Some of the family members I haven’t seen in over a decade, others a few years. If it weren’t for me being next to my mother and speaking in Vietnamese, no one would have guessed.

My self-consciousness had come from my mother. She was always constantly saying how fat I was. I was always an active child. I was quite a tomboy, so I played so many sports. No matter how active I was, there was no way for me to get down to a small size. I was always at average. Even to this day, my mom still calls me fat. It doesn’t help that my sister is a size 00. To American standards, I’m smaller than the average size. But in the eyes of my mother, I have a lot to work on. Her consistency on this subject gets tiring and takes a toll.

I truly don’t want to believe that it’s all malicious. I would like to think that she wants better for me. She doesn’t want me to be obese and have health problems. I even tell her that being as skinny as my sister isn’t healthy either. Most times, she doesn’t respond. Other times, I think she may be harder on me because of the fact that I look like my father. There was an ugly past with him and she may be harboring feelings about it.

I try to be in shape as much as I could, with the time I have. There are always other priorities that come first over working out or eating right. Knowing that I am in better shape than some of the skinniest girls I know, I am content with being my size. I have embraced my figure and it’s become me. I just don’t see myself ever being the mass media, or my mother’s, ideal size 0 or 2. As long as I’m healthy, I am fine. Because isn’t that what really matters? Size doesn’t always show how healthy you are. It definitely varies from person to person.

Looking at my story, the shadows that I had to overcome for the most part was the parenting at home and some of society. The puppeteers were parent and the mass media with the ideal image they set out. I felt that I was in the shadows, being in doubt of myself and how I looked compared to the typical Asian. I was able to escape from the cave and these puppeteers by self evaluation, wondering if I was doing what was right for me. I’m going to be happy with myself before making other people happy. It sounds selfish but it’s more like the saying, “How can you love someone else, if you don’t love yourself?”

This blog does relate to my truth blog in a way. I know to be true to myself. Your truth is constantly evolving as you evolve. With every obstacle or event, you find out more about yourself than you know.